The Not So Beautiful

I think what gets you the most frustrated during your weightloss journey is the fact that you don't always go down in a straight pattern. One week you are down a couple pounds and the next you gain a few back and feel like you are going no where.

The weightloss yo-yo is probably one of the biggest things that gets people to stop dieting. They don't feel like they are making a difference when they had a bad week.

Take me as an example. I have been going down a bit over the past few weeks (finally). The beginning of my classes were hard, but I think part of it was because my blood pressure was so high that when I was losing fat weight, my body was taking on water. After I started getting my blood pressure under control with meds, and started taking a diuretic, I stopped taking on water as much as I used to (and felt a lot better).

But this past week was a rough one. I had gone down a couple pounds a week, a nice steady downward turn of my  weight. This week, I gained 4 more back. It was rough and it was disappointing.

But then I looked at what I ate that week and how my exercising has been. I had stopped walking on breaks (more because I needed to use the bathroom more) and I also hadn't taken as many long walks as I had been. I essentially stopped some of the progress I had started.

Was I disappointed in myself? Yes.

This week was a little better than the one before. Was it back up to where I had been a few weeks ago- no. I am coming back from my "slip" in my routine. Getting back on the horse.

Portion control is one of my things. I am still working on it. Lifestyle changes are hard. I am hopeful that I go back down in weight again this week (or at least maintained).

When I looked at that weight jump up a few pounds, I reminded myself that this was a journey and that every week is not going to be perfect. But I also reminded myself that even though I went up in weight a few pounds- I was still 10 pounds lighter than I was when I started.

It is all worth it in the end. Just have to keep myself focused and eye on the goal.

Have a great Sunday :)

The Reason I Am Doing This

For one, I need to get healthy while I still can. All through my life I have heard that being overweight can cause a whole score of health problems when I get older. I just ignored it. Even when I took classes in college that showed me that happens to those with diabetes, and meeting people with heart disease, I ignored it. Ignorance is easy.

But I am not just doing this for me

See this kid right there? That is the man that I have loved for over the past 2 years. He has been there for the best and the worst. He has loved me more than I can even imagine someone could love me.

And I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

I don't want to spend my life with him sick. I don't want to be a diabetic who has to test her blood sugar all the time. I don't want to be in the middle of heart failure.

But that is the road I am heading down if I don't make positive changes in my life. That is my goal. I don't have to be the perfect weight and I am not aiming for skinny. I am aiming for healthy. I am aiming for the weight where I am taken back off blood pressure medication.

The cardiologist is sending me for stress tests which I get later this month. We will see what comes of those. As of right now, the only major issue that I CAN change is my blood pressure and weight. Luckily, I am not diabetic, my cholesterol is good, my thyroid is functioning at a mostly normal level. My baseline is still okay.

I just want to be a healthier person for this man, and the kids that we will have someday...and my many friends and family that I am sure want to have many more adventures with me in the years to come.

That is why I have started this journey.

The Beginning

Meet me

Amelia Moore. 23. Libra. College graduate who has been working full time for over a year now. Just making the ends meet.

Fun loving. Loving life. 

And horribly unhealthy....

These revelations are not something that I wasn't aware of for awhile now. I am morbidly obese. I steadily gained weight since I got out of high school to the point where I am fitting into the clothes that I once wore as a middle schooler. Clothes are tight on me. I get fed up finding cute clothes that fit because well...they don't.

They don't make affordable cute clothes in a size 2X/3X. They just don't.

But along with my weight, I just ignored my overall health. I spent years in college without health insurance. Instead of paying out of pocket for a physical just to make sure I was all right, I spent that on food to make it through to the next week. Or on things...things I just didn't need. I ignored my health. Kept saying I was only 20...or 21...and that I'll be fine.

Then in January 2012, I got on Plan First, a medicaid insurance through my state that offers Women's health coverage only. I went to Planned Parenthood and got all checked out and was told my blood pressure was horrible. The doctor looked at me and shook her head and said in her very black woman voice, "girl, you gotta get that checked out." They gave me a shot for 3 months of birth control (which was the reason I went) and a referral to a local clinic that offers doctor visits to the low income and sent me on my way.

I never made that appointment. I tried to go to the college clinic and schedule an appointment, but it was during this flu scare we had on campus and the clinic never called me back. 

So I went on with my life as normal. I went to school, graduated and started a new job.

Now this job had benefits. I mean, BENEFITS. This included GREAT health insurance. 90 days after my hire date, I was sent a new, shiny insurance card that was all mine- something I paid for- but it was the key to my health.

And what didn't I do? Find a doctor.

I went more than 6 months without making a claim on my insurance. For one, I was afraid to go back. I didn't want to be yelled at or made to feel bad. I just wanted to live in my blissful state of ignorancy while things went wrong inside my body.

Prevention was the first step...

My work, which is awesome if you haven't already figured this out, is fully invested in the health of their employees. Its very refreshing working someplace that does spend time to care. In February, they started emailing us about the Diabetes Prevention Program. I read up on the program and decided that it was a good program for me to start. For one, it was lifestyle changes- not a diet. I would learn how to eat better and add exercise in slowly. It also offered great incentive from the company- if we lost 5-7% of our body weight in the year (which for me was about 22 pounds), the company would reimburse the money that we paid for the class which was $100 (discounted since the company paid some of the fees for us too).

I decided that it was time to get healthier and do this for me.

My first class I was shocked when I stepped on the scale.

327 lbs.

Ouch...that hurt. I don't remember going over 300 pounds but I knew it wasn't good. In the first couple weeks of the class we learned how to substitute healthier foods, I began food journaling as a part of the class. I started to lose a few pounds here and there.

A few weeks into the class, the instructor connected me with a good doctor's office that I finally was able to get in to see. First thing they checked- my blood pressure.

160/110

Yeah, that wasn't good. So they started me on blood pressure meds. It was high the next week so they added more meds. I went to get blood work and an echocardiogram. Blood work was good- no diabetes, no high cholesterol, no low thyroid.

My echo showed some not so good things. Enlargement of my left ventricle. Not totally bad- it's reversible once I get my blood pressure under control and start getting farther in my lifestyle choices, it may change. My  doctor is sending me to a cardiologist next week- we'll see what comes of it.

How far I've Come:

All these things going against me, we forget how far I've come. I am already  part the way through my program and today I am down to:

315.2 lbs

Woo-hoo!!! That is super exciting to me! I am getting there. Only 12 more pounds until I hit my goal for the class (but I will definitely lose more)!

I am also consistently doing 150 minutes of exercise per week. Some of those are walking on breaks but Youtube has been my friend.

Welcome to my fitness blog. My journey. My new life. :)