Feeling Good

It's interesting how when you are not getting fit, you don't ever see how good you will feel when you are getting fit. That first time you exercise after not doing it for a long time, you don't feel good. You are tired. You are sweaty. And the morning after, you wake up and can hardly move because those muscles are tired and haven't been used like that for awhile. In some cases, they will even start to ache WHILE you are exercising and it makes you just want to stop right then and there. Even when you only do a little bit.

More times than none, those are the things that stop you. You think that it will -always- feel like this. You don't know how people can say that exercise can feel good. I know, I've been there.

But this time around, I decided that I needed to keep going. I needed to push through. I gave myself rest days in between but I would schedule the time and workout.

And you know what? It feels great now. Yes, I am still trying new things and finding new muscles that I haven't used yet and they get sore. But in the end, I have lost just a bit of weight so far- but my clothes feel good.

Lately at work, several coworkers have mentioned that I am looking good and that they can tell that I lost weight. What a boost in self esteem right there. Those little compliments make my whole day! But it is so nice to button my pants in the morning and they just aren't as tight as they used to be. I have a pair of jeans that is almost falling off of me now (I guess it's time to invest in a belt). It feels good to put on clothes and realize that they fit comfortably and look good now.

One of the girls at work asked how I am doing it and I told her about how I am now eating healthier and just exercising more. I told her about some of the substitutes that I am making for snacks that I used to eat horrible things (there was a time when I would get a candy bar out of the vending machine at least 3 times a week).

It does feel good getting here and I plan to keep going! I am very excited (but almost dreading) the day when my clothes are all too big and I just need to replace so many of them.


In other news, I put on a shirt that I have had since high school (about 100 pounds ago) and I could actually get it on. A little tight still- but it gives me something to work on. Sometimes keeping the "skinny clothes" around was a good idea.

Thank you for your support. You all make this process so much easier!

The Reason I Am Doing This

For one, I need to get healthy while I still can. All through my life I have heard that being overweight can cause a whole score of health problems when I get older. I just ignored it. Even when I took classes in college that showed me that happens to those with diabetes, and meeting people with heart disease, I ignored it. Ignorance is easy.

But I am not just doing this for me

See this kid right there? That is the man that I have loved for over the past 2 years. He has been there for the best and the worst. He has loved me more than I can even imagine someone could love me.

And I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

I don't want to spend my life with him sick. I don't want to be a diabetic who has to test her blood sugar all the time. I don't want to be in the middle of heart failure.

But that is the road I am heading down if I don't make positive changes in my life. That is my goal. I don't have to be the perfect weight and I am not aiming for skinny. I am aiming for healthy. I am aiming for the weight where I am taken back off blood pressure medication.

The cardiologist is sending me for stress tests which I get later this month. We will see what comes of those. As of right now, the only major issue that I CAN change is my blood pressure and weight. Luckily, I am not diabetic, my cholesterol is good, my thyroid is functioning at a mostly normal level. My baseline is still okay.

I just want to be a healthier person for this man, and the kids that we will have someday...and my many friends and family that I am sure want to have many more adventures with me in the years to come.

That is why I have started this journey.

The Beginning

Meet me

Amelia Moore. 23. Libra. College graduate who has been working full time for over a year now. Just making the ends meet.

Fun loving. Loving life. 

And horribly unhealthy....

These revelations are not something that I wasn't aware of for awhile now. I am morbidly obese. I steadily gained weight since I got out of high school to the point where I am fitting into the clothes that I once wore as a middle schooler. Clothes are tight on me. I get fed up finding cute clothes that fit because well...they don't.

They don't make affordable cute clothes in a size 2X/3X. They just don't.

But along with my weight, I just ignored my overall health. I spent years in college without health insurance. Instead of paying out of pocket for a physical just to make sure I was all right, I spent that on food to make it through to the next week. Or on things...things I just didn't need. I ignored my health. Kept saying I was only 20...or 21...and that I'll be fine.

Then in January 2012, I got on Plan First, a medicaid insurance through my state that offers Women's health coverage only. I went to Planned Parenthood and got all checked out and was told my blood pressure was horrible. The doctor looked at me and shook her head and said in her very black woman voice, "girl, you gotta get that checked out." They gave me a shot for 3 months of birth control (which was the reason I went) and a referral to a local clinic that offers doctor visits to the low income and sent me on my way.

I never made that appointment. I tried to go to the college clinic and schedule an appointment, but it was during this flu scare we had on campus and the clinic never called me back. 

So I went on with my life as normal. I went to school, graduated and started a new job.

Now this job had benefits. I mean, BENEFITS. This included GREAT health insurance. 90 days after my hire date, I was sent a new, shiny insurance card that was all mine- something I paid for- but it was the key to my health.

And what didn't I do? Find a doctor.

I went more than 6 months without making a claim on my insurance. For one, I was afraid to go back. I didn't want to be yelled at or made to feel bad. I just wanted to live in my blissful state of ignorancy while things went wrong inside my body.

Prevention was the first step...

My work, which is awesome if you haven't already figured this out, is fully invested in the health of their employees. Its very refreshing working someplace that does spend time to care. In February, they started emailing us about the Diabetes Prevention Program. I read up on the program and decided that it was a good program for me to start. For one, it was lifestyle changes- not a diet. I would learn how to eat better and add exercise in slowly. It also offered great incentive from the company- if we lost 5-7% of our body weight in the year (which for me was about 22 pounds), the company would reimburse the money that we paid for the class which was $100 (discounted since the company paid some of the fees for us too).

I decided that it was time to get healthier and do this for me.

My first class I was shocked when I stepped on the scale.

327 lbs.

Ouch...that hurt. I don't remember going over 300 pounds but I knew it wasn't good. In the first couple weeks of the class we learned how to substitute healthier foods, I began food journaling as a part of the class. I started to lose a few pounds here and there.

A few weeks into the class, the instructor connected me with a good doctor's office that I finally was able to get in to see. First thing they checked- my blood pressure.

160/110

Yeah, that wasn't good. So they started me on blood pressure meds. It was high the next week so they added more meds. I went to get blood work and an echocardiogram. Blood work was good- no diabetes, no high cholesterol, no low thyroid.

My echo showed some not so good things. Enlargement of my left ventricle. Not totally bad- it's reversible once I get my blood pressure under control and start getting farther in my lifestyle choices, it may change. My  doctor is sending me to a cardiologist next week- we'll see what comes of it.

How far I've Come:

All these things going against me, we forget how far I've come. I am already  part the way through my program and today I am down to:

315.2 lbs

Woo-hoo!!! That is super exciting to me! I am getting there. Only 12 more pounds until I hit my goal for the class (but I will definitely lose more)!

I am also consistently doing 150 minutes of exercise per week. Some of those are walking on breaks but Youtube has been my friend.

Welcome to my fitness blog. My journey. My new life. :)